Kyuubi's Dilemma
by DeanBeans13
Summary: It's during the war and Kyuubi has a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Since the pain in the ass Kit is obviously busy, he decides it might be best to leave a mental message for the bubbly idiot to get later. M for language for safety.


YO Deanbeans here! This is my first fanfic posting so be nice or not really I guess. I appreciate constructive criticism as much as the next author, but I won't appreciate people reviewing just to be an asshole. It's unecessary and waste everyones's time.

This story is told in Kyuubi's point of view.

Oh Thanks to my friend BananaBoBo for editing this for me.

**Disclaimer**:

Deanbeans was finally in the room. It had taken so long to finally break into the security codes. Ever since authors have been requesting the rights to Naruto and even attempted to kidnap his characters, Kishimoto-Sensei made it clear that security had to be increased.

The night was silent. No insects, No birds typical of a breezy, frigid winter night. tonight would be the night where beans could finally acheive her goal. She wrapped her prize in a bundle of cloth and tied it to a harness, hooking the harness to a zipline that ran into the parking lot across from the apartment window. She made sure to leave a note on the nightstand before hooking herself into the zipline.

The bundle zipped down the line hitting her trusty partner BananaBobo. BoBo made sure to be careful unhooking the heavy package and loaded it into the van. She heard Beans slide down the zipline and ran to start the car. They had to be out of there soon.

Once she was safe in the car, DeanBeans slowly peeled away the multitude of blankets and observed the shimmering golden hair surrounding a sleeping face only flawed by six scars. BananaBoBo looked back at Beans and smirked. Tonight they had won, but tomorrow would promise to be more difficult. This act would awaken a sleeping dragon but it was worth it for their treasure.

Let the games begin.

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><p><strong>Kyuubi's Dilemma<strong>

All right how should I start. Hmm...You have held me in your body since you were just a babe. I must admit when I could finally talk to you, you were the most annoying piece of shit I have ever had the absolute pleasure of being around. Not to mention you were a big ball of "Too much fucking sound wave activity!" loud + "Ahhh! My fucking eyes!" bright.

I'm pretty sure if the townspeople hadn't hated your very existence at the beginning, you would have either blinded half of the town or caused them to go deaf. I really don't understand you. Why put up with all their shit? Just kill them.

When you woke me up I was ecstatic, I was so ready to corrupt your little, and I mean little, brain so that you would let me free, but no. You just had to have the same ridiculously strong will as your equally annoying dad. Oh by the way, it took you long enough to figure it out. I mean you two look like carbon copies dumbass. How could you not see it?

Now that I'm awake, well technically I was always awake just that you couldn't speak to me, I can see and respond to all the shit you get yourself into.

Example number one: Subaku no Gaara + Shukaku = What the Fuck? Why did you even try to fight him without using me to my fullest potential? Oh wait. I'm sorry. You didn't learn how to do that yet so why fight him you reckless idiot! You could have gotten us both killed! Stupid kid. That pink thing would have survived…maybe. Although, I was a little flattered when you transformed into a bigger version of me. I'll applaud you for that since it was a smart move.

Example number two: Akatsuki. Mainly Pain…Hmm. I almost got out, but your damn father got in the way. I'll scratch it off the list since you were going to release me.

Example and biggest problem number 3: Sasuke MotherFucking Uchiha. Really need I say more? Don't care, gonna say it anyway. The bastard near killed you at the Valley of the Dead. If it weren't for me, you would have been the new entrée for maggots. Then the fairy loving, flower wearing, piece of shit had the nerve to try and kill us again when you met him after 3 years, again under the damn waterfall after he killed some Danzou guy and he will try... wait for it…AGAIN!

Kit, I'm sorry but you're kinda clueless if you can't see the ongoing trend. Talk about a blond moment, more like a blond section of your life, maybe more like a blond ongoing period of years. Since you can't see the trend I'm going to say this clearly…(clearing throat). HE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU. NO, NOT BE YOUR FRIEND. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU OR WANT YOU NEAR HIM. THIS IS NOT KID'S ROUGHPLAY OR FOREPLAY OR WHATEVER. HE IS REALLY TRYING TO KILL YOU.

Finally got that off my chest. I offer to help you and you tell me you don't need my help then you get your ass handed to you…again. (Do you see the multiple again's happening. Let's break that cycle okay?)

Just let me out, kill the mofo and get on with your life. I'm still pissed he came into your mind and talked to me. Damn. I had to lick myself all over to make sure I didn't pick up some Uchiha cooties.

Example number 4: And then there was Madara. The piece of shit who got me into this situation in the first place. The one creating a war in order to collect bijuu, become all-powerful and cast a genjutsu on the moon for world peace…What the hell is that? How roundabout is that? Let's kill everyone in the world and then control the five people who will be left. Cocksucker.

What the hell is he talking about world peace? Even I, the great and all-powerful being of the universe who gives two shits (maybe three) about the world and its inhabitants can tell that plan won't work. Kit, if you don't beat the old fart for your world and for me too, I'll kick your ass.

Maybe I should have continued to mind my business because I started to get attached to your straightforward, stupid innocence. I even tried to tell you not to go to war so you wouldn't end up crying your eyes out. I warned you that hatred couldn't be vanquished so easily; your response:

"Hmm. Must suck to be consumed with hatred all the time. I think I'll do something about that after the war."

ARE YOU SHITTING ME! Did you really suggest getting rid of my hatred? It's a part of my being. I'm not a demon without it. That's like saying "I think today I'm going to go see the flowers that don't pollinate." It's completely contradictory to their being. So why don't you just quit that while your ahead. Okay blondie?

Now that that is cleared up we get to the main heart of the problem. You see since you've been using my powers, controlling them and what not, we have slowly started to merge. As in, by the time that the war is over or actually when this message is over, I will become an irremovable part of you. My powers will become yours, there will be some changes to your DNA and my consciousness will disappear. Yeah I know you really wanted to remove the hate from me, and you were finally beginning to see how awesome I really am, but you no longer have that choice.

I will disappear leaving my chakra for you to use and pass on to your children. You will probably be rejoicing. The problem that you were practically born with will be gone. Congratulations you won't have to worry about me getting free and going on a mass-murdering spree! Yay freedom! Damn…I sound like some whiny girl that is about to get dumped.

But truthfully you kinda maybe almost with a hint of possibility won me over when you said that you would get rid of my hate. Ugh! It hurt me just now to say that. I'm going to have to find some cleanser for mushy situations and spray myself down from all this emotional shit. Anyway as I was saying before, my consciousness will disappear my powers will be yours practically making you all-powerful since I can control all elements.

Now pull out that cleanser out because here is where it really gets mushy. I believe that your father made the right choice of having me inside of you. I don't think there would have been anyone better to stuff me into who could control my powers and later inherit them (I don't think your father knew about the inheritance thing so…whatever). As much as you are annoying, you draw people to you like a bug to a lamp. Even I felt that pull when I got the chance to feed off your chakra. I actually sort of like you and your wild antics…kinda cute when you were younger…BUT just because I thought you were (past tense most definitely) cute doesn't make me any less badass; so don't go thinking I went soft. But it's too late. I will die. I would have liked to talk to you some more and show you how much of a dumbass you really are but alas I will not get that chance.

Here are my suggestions and last wishes.

1. Please for the love of everything having to do with rainbows, fluffy bunnies, blue skies, and real world peace (no that I care) kill that Madara Uchiha.

2. End the damn silly human war.

3. Become a badass (even though you will probably be a wimp) Hokage.

4. Put the damn baby Uchiha in his place and drag his ass home; kill him or pimp slap him or something. Show him he's an idiot and a puppet to Madara. I really don't like the piece of shit, but if you want to save him I can't stop you anymore anyway.

5. Use my damn powers properly or I will raise my consciousness single handedly from the grave and give you hell.

And finally 6. Find a mate you poor, poor virgin boy. Not Sakura please if anything not Sakura. I really will come back if you choose her. That Hinata girl is nice; she became strong too so I have no qualms about her…unless of course you prefer company of the more…male persuasion. I don't really mind or care. Since I'm a demon I like both since I am both.

Oh geez I'm rambling oh well I'm out of time. By the time you receive this mental recording of my thoughts, I will already have faded leaving my powers. I hope you have a happy life kid because everyone knows you deserve it. See ya Kit…dumbass …be safe...

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><p>Hoped you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this. I am in the process of making a response from Naruto. So sit tight cause it will be here soon. Maybe<p>

Review please it helps me raise the funds to hide my treasure before Kishimoto can find me and steal him back. Please Help


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